


So Eren, Connie, and Jean take a road trip...

by Electrauma



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, HERE IS YOUR CRACK, IM SO LAZY, You asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 05:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6739927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electrauma/pseuds/Electrauma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To you, dear friend. May the emus be forever in your memes.</p>
<p>I mean dreams...</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Eren, Connie, and Jean take a road trip...

"SON OF A BITCH!!!" 

Okay, 2.5 minutes into the trip to the beach and everyone made the mistake of letting Eren drive.

"YOU MISSED THE TURN YOU-" "YAEGER IF YOU WANNA LIVE YOU WON'T FINISH THAT-" "MMMAAAAARRRCOOOO POOOOLLLOOO MOTHERRR FUUUCKKERRR-" "YOU GUYS ARE INSANE AND WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!"

15 minutes into the trip and they learned Jean couldn't drive them around either...

Connie sat behind the wheel. "Okay, Yeager, can you read a map?" "..." "Yaeger?" "..." "EREN?" "You sound like Mi-" "YAEGER!!! MAP!!! READ, CAN YOU?!!" 

...

15.2 minutes into the trip and they learn Eren can't read.

Connie pinches the bridge of his nose. "Okay, Jean, you're our only hope." Jean turns back to look smugly at Eren, but ends up with a face full MgRonalds.

"Some fries, motherfucker."

 

17 minutes into the trip they discover Eren is bored.  
19 minutes into the trip they discover Eren knows how to unlock someone else's phone.  
23 minutes into the trip Jean sits back down in the car after beating Eren for finding his 'Mikasa shrine' app.  
26 minutes into the trip Eren is still bored.  
27 minutes into the trip Eren disperses snacks.  
32 minutes into the trip Eren insists on taking claim of the auxiliary cord.  
34 minutes into the trip three teenage boys are rocking out to Miku Hatsune's Rolling Girl, then later Rin and Len Kagamine's Remote Control.  
45 minutes into the trip Jean somehow developes food poisoning and craps away half their summer vacation at a rest stop.  
2 hours and 58 minutes into the trip they find themselves in a country in the complete opposite direction (and a little bit to the left) of where they wanted to be.  
3 hours into the trip Eren Yaeger is bored.  
3 hours .2 seconds into the trip Eren Yaeger is deep throating Jean's show.  
3 hours 8 seconds into the trip Connie learns Jean did not feed Eren the shoe, and now his navigator is halfway into the backseat beating their snack director with his own cooler.

 

"You misses the exit." Jean said. Connie turned to him slowly. Very slowly. "Are you sure you can read that map with that shiner, Jean? Perhaps you need some help reading that map."

4 hours into the trip and Jean is driving very carefully for fear of his life, Connie is reading the map only just barely, and Eren is bored.  
4 hours 21 seconds into the trip and Eren Yaeger has found a way to cause an accident, completely blocking off the highway and causing a back up across two others, which all started by almost killing another man driving next to them with a single Cheeto.

Accidentally...

.12 seconds after arriving at the hotel Eren is arranged to sleep on the ironing board for his sins, Connie is no longer coherently speaking, and Jean discovers Google maps and how to get turn by turn instructions on his phone.

 

Next year they'll do better.

 

Next year they'll just play League of Legends in Eren's basement and order pizza...

**Author's Note:**

> I JUST REMEMBERED I NEEDED TO DO THIS.
> 
> LIKE
> 
>  
> 
> I HAD A VERY MIGHTY NEED.


End file.
